


Mr. Brightside

by ImmortalTadashi



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Also some vomiting, And then it kind of it requited, Angst, F/M, Hiro may be out of character, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Minor Violence, Nightmares, Sibling Incest, Theres alot of angst, Unrequited Love, also a sad kiss, and alot of crying, lots of sadness, no happy ending, nothing too bad, prepare your hearts, theres a part where a mirror gets punched, this is just a trainwreck of feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 08:25:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4012645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmortalTadashi/pseuds/ImmortalTadashi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I never meant for this to happen."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mr. Brightside

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first piece after coming out of my writing slump I've been stuck in recently. I spent all afternoon and evening working on this, so I hope it's good. 
> 
> This work is inspired and loosely written to the lyrics of Mr. Brightside by The Killers, so I do recommend listening to that while you read this.
> 
> As always, I am but a writer and can only lay claim to the literature itself, not to those (the characters, setting, or song inspiring this piece) that appear in it. Credit is to go where it seems fit.

 

 

 

It had been a while since Hiro had come to terms with his feelings.

Some days he wanted nothing more then to grab his brother by that stupid gray cardigan and kiss him senseless. He wanted everything Tadashi had to give. And he hated that about himself. The young genius would fall into these horrible slumps that would only get worse if he stayed around Tadashi. So when he came down to grab a donut and then retreat back into his cocoon in their room one morning, what he saw made him freeze in place.

_Tadashi._

He was kissing her.

He was kissing _Honey Lemon_.

Time seemed to stop in that exact moment. He could feel his jaw fall open, feel the liquid warmth pricking the corner of his eyes as it threatened to spill over. His vision blurred, and with that, he set back the treat in order to flee back upstairs. He caught one more glance at them on his turn up. Honey was laughing at something Tadashi had said, while his own lips were turned up in a smile.

The black haired boy scrubbed viciously at his eyes with the worn sleeve of his hoodie. It didn't matter how many times he wiped away the tears on his trudge back to the divided loft, the images stayed tattooed behind his eyes. As much as he tried to remember when Tadashi may have said something about a relationship, nothing came to mind. "It was only a kiss..." He chanted to himself, as if it would do anything to cease the throb in his chest, "It was only a kiss."

Hiro stayed in bed all day. He vaguely registered the occasions Tadashi would come upstairs to get something.

"Feeling okay, bud?"

"Have you seen my economics textbook?"

"Still in bed, really Hiro?"

The only time he really responded to his brother was when he mentioned a date that night. The words made the younger Hamada's heart constrict and his breathing catch. Not that Tadashi noticed. He was too busy running around, looking for his keys, his hat, his Ecig. ~~Hiro was no stranger to the fact that Tadashi smoked. After all, college and the threat of being arrested when he was picking up Hiro from a bot fight really pushes a guy to his limit~~

Tadashi left with a backpack and a promise he'd be home before noon the next day. The second the cafe bell rang, Hiro was jumping out of his bed and bounding to the window, looking down just in time to see the moped sputter and die with the couple on it.

"Shoot, forgot to fill her up today." The conversation drifted up through the open window.

"It's okay, I can call a cab." Hiro cursed mentally at how sincere Honey sounded. He watched her, nose pressed to the screen, as she pulled out her phone and dialed a number while his brother pushed the small moped back to their garage.   
When he returned the Ecig was firmly placed between his lips, which had that stupidly crooked smile plastered across them. Hiro sighed in defeat as his eyelids drooped. He shuffled away from the screen and fell into his bed, heart heavy and eyes heavier. He could her his brother ask the chemist if she wanted to take a drag, but his mind supplied the overly zealous "Sure!" He fell into a restless slumber.

1 am brought vibrations from his desk that awoke Hiro. He was roused just enough to grope around for his phone. Once his hands touched the sleek glass and steel frame, he accidentally knocked it to the floor.

"Damn it." Hiro sat up, slithered out of bed, and felt around blindly for the vibration device. When he finally found it, Hiro really wished he hadn't. On the screen read a text message from his brother.

"And you said big brother would never get lucky ;P"

Disgust coursed through his veins, bile raising in his throat. He fled to the bathroom and barely made it before he was dry heaving into the toilet. In the end, some water he had drank earlier came up, leaving his throat burning and stomach churning even worse than before. Images of the two rustling between the sheets brought another bout of heaving.

He saw Honey running her manicured nails across Tadashi's chest, his own fingers reaching up to pull at the straps of the blonde's pretty pink dress. Hiro sputtered once more as the heavy breaths of his imagination ghosted across his ears. He could feel his brother turning him into an afterthought as he showed his love to the girl below him.

He cried out, willing his thoughts away from the images of his brother giving himself away. They always came back though, taking complete rein over his mind. Jealousy coursed hot and thick through his body. He didn't want to give up his brother, he didn't want to lose his anchor, the person that would never love him back the way he wanted. He hated the thought of losing the absolute saint that his brother was.

The teenage genius picked himself up, and stumbled back to bed. He stared at the rumpled sheets, before casting a glance back to his brother's side of the room. Tadashi would never have to know that he had slept in his bed. So Hiro set an alarm, grabbed a second blanket, and padded to open divider. He dropped onto the mattress, and fell asleep to the scent of Tadashi's aftershave while humming the lullabies that he used to sing when Hiro was younger.

~-~-~-~-~-~~-~-~-~-~~-~-~-~-~~-~

The blare of his alarm awoke Hiro from his slumber on Tadashi's bed. 9 am hated him for sure, leaving the boy groggy and sore from the late night of throwing up. He rolled of the bed, shucked his blanket to the other side of the room, and started to fix the bed.

By the time he heard the front door open and Tadashi's voice drift up the stairs he was long done with fixing the bed.

He could hear his brother explain that, "No Aunt Cass, nothing happened, we went to a movie and I had dinner over there." Before his aunt said something unintelligible from the bustle of the cafe.

A chuckle followed, before Hiro heard his brother respond, "We slept in different beds, don't worry." Tears started to gather in the younger's eyes, and all he could bitterly think was, 'Liar.' Hiro choked back a sob as he locked himself in the bathroom. There was no way that he could let Tadashi catch him like this.

Staring, the younger Hamada took in his appearance in the mirror. Glossy, but dull sienna eyes stared back. He let out a watery laugh as the salty tears spilled over.

"I-I should have known that this was supposed to happen," Hiro said to no one in particular, his voice going weaker, "It's just the price of forbidden love, isn't it, Tadashi...?" He closed his eyes as more tears fell.

"I guess it's just destiny's way of saying 'Fuck you?'" Hiro's chuckle after was pained and laden with underlying sadness. Regardless, he continued his musings. Amber eyes opened once more to stare at the reflection.

"But hey, look on the bright side, bro," he swallowed thickly, "At least I know you don't return my affections now..." A choked off sob escaped as he slid to the floor and broke down.

~~Little did the younger know, Tadashi was right outside the door.~~

~-~-~-~-~-~~-~-~-~-~~-~-~-~-~~-~

Three days later, Hiro made his way to the small torn up couch, work tablet in hand. He was working on course assignments, trying to focus on something besides the heartbreak he'd been suffering through. He had barely said ten words to Tadashi since he hand gotten home. Whether it was locking himself down in the garage, or 'going to bed early' ~~really he was just laying awake for hours on end~~ or even leaving the house.

Every question Aunt Cass asked was effortlessly dodged with a statement of: "I'm fine, don't worry."

In all honesty, he was still torn apart over that text message that Tadashi had sent, and yet he caught himself refusing to delete it several times. The raven haired boy knew it was horrible to want his brother the way he'd given to his girlfriend. So caught up in his thoughts, he didn't realize the object of his despair had snuck up right behind him.

"Hiro," the silky baritone voice murmured in his ear, "Please look at me." The younger startled at the sudden presence, but he turned, doe eyes glistening with fear and hidden emotions. Hiro barely registered the touch of his brother threading his fingers through his hair. He could see his brother's lips moving. White noise bled into his ears, then, everything slammed into reality.

The voices of pedestrians, cars on the city streets, the clink of glasses and mugs.

The warmth of the sun shining through the window and onto his thigh, the air conditioner sputtering to life.

The firm grasp around the back of his neck.

_The press of his brother' slips against his own._

Reflex took over and Hiro kissed back like his life depended on it. They parted for breath, slowly poisoning each other with the close proximity of their pants.

"Hiro," Tadashi started, waiting for the younger to break out of his daze.

"I do love you, Hiro, more than a brother should. But I love Honey, too. It's incest, and you're still underage. We can't be together, and I need you to understand that."

The words slowly sunk in, and a fresh bout of tears glazed Hiro's coffee irises. He breathed deeply, trying to calm down when Tadashi shattered his progress.

"I'm sorry, please don't cry."

Anger pulsed through Hiro, and he shoved Tadashi away. "Get away from me!" He yelled, before leaping off the couch and fleeing down the stairs. The front door was wrenched open in his desperate attempt to escape the house, causing the knob to hit the wall and send vibrations though it. The pictures trembled, and when the door slammed shut, the one of them together during Hiro's graduation fell to the floor.

When Tadashi finally got up, he slunk down to see Aunt Cass staring at the glass with a crestfallen expression.

~~A crack ran straight down the middle, severing the two boys.~~

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Hiro _ran._

He ran until his lungs burned.

He ran until his legs gave out in a deserted part of the city park.

Hiro sobbed into himself, curling up into a ball, and murmured a now commonplace chant. "It was, was only a kiss. It was o-only a k-kiss."

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

When he finally showed back up at the Lucky Cat, night time had fallen. Aunt Cass let the younger Hamada know on his trek back up to his room that Tadashi had left with his friends to run some errands and would be back later in the morning.

"Sure he did, he probably made it up so he could go fuck Honey again," Hiro snarled bitterly as he sunk onto his bed. He dressed quickly into his sleep clothes, before laying down. Resentment for the elder throbbed in his heart, but it really only masked the aching longing for him. A soft sigh escaped his lips as he fell asleep, but his mind really had better ~~or worse~~ plans.

Flickers of a demented nightmare shot past his mind's eye.

_Honey lemon pulling out her little fox cased cell, calling a cab to a fancy hotel, and pulling his brother in with a kiss. They'd be sitting on the balcony, Tadashi letting out puffs of raspberry smoke, and offering his Ecig to the bubbly girl beside him. They'd share it back and forth, before getting closer and sharing nicotine laced breaths. The elder Hamada would pull her by the dainty hand to the soft bed, where they would kiss and pet each other. She'd run her hands across his toned chest, fingers dipping into each crevice and flaw. He'd grunt softly, and take the liberty of pulling her brightly colored dress down. They'd continue on, shedding clothes a-_

Hiro shot out of bed, tripping across things strewn across the floor on a desperate attempt to make it to the bathroom. For the second time in less than a week, Hiro was kneeling in front of the toilet, retching and gagging. His lunch came up with a scorching heat. Tears fell down his face without him realizing. He knew his brother was letting him go again.

Aunt Cass must have heard the young genius throwing up, because minutes later, he heard her concerned voice on the phone making its way up through the stairs and door.

He stood, shut and locked the door, before starting into the mirror. "What have you become?" He muttered, reaching for a Dixie cup and the bottle of mouthwash. He poured some in, before drinking and swishing it around in his mouth. Hiro spat the minty liquid back into the sink once it became too foamy.

Shaking, he turned his gaze to the mirror, meeting his gaze slowly. The lifelessness was amplified by tears to the point Hiro had to look away.

He truly felt like his heart was breaking again.

~~Like he was dying on the inside.~~

He realized that second, he was jealous.

In a sudden flash of anger, Hiro met his gaze again and swung his fist into the glass reflection with a cry of "Stop being jealous, you fucking idiot!"

There was a startled yelp from somewhere downstairs as Hiro panted his anger away, fist still embedded in the glass.

Reality melted back, and the pain coursed up his arm like a fire. Blood stained the shattered mirror. The broken boy couldn't help the watery smile at how it reflected what he felt inside. Hiro pulled his arm back, tears tracking down his face, and collapsed to the floor.

He openly wept.

~~Whether it was the physical or emotional pain that caused the tears was questionable.~~

Through his hiccups and sobs, the younger Hamada sang a lullaby, his favorite that Tadashi used to sing when he was a child. His mind wandered back to the way that he used to see Tadashi as a saint. Now he was as tainted as the ocean itself. A knock at the door shook Hiro from his singing.

"Hiro, are you okay? I heard you yell and something break. What happened?" Tadashi's worried voice filtered through the thin knockoff wood door.

Hiro knew that this was just a cruel twist of fate. Coffee pools slowly flickered open and down to his hand. They looked over the damage done to the skin. Shards were still buried in his knuckles, blood dribbling down to form a small puddle on the linoleum. Instead of answering, Hiro hummed softly.

"Look on the bright side, Dashi. You won't have to worry about me since you're with Honey." His voice was weak, forced optimism thick on his tongue. He could hear the sharp intake of breath through the cracks. Slowly he shifted so his back faced the door, pushing his fingers of his non-injured hand through the space between the frame. Moments later, he felt those of his brother's push back into them.

"I never meant it like that, Hiro..."

"I never meant to fall in love with you, Dashi..."

The pair breathed out softy, before speaking together once more.

"I never meant for this to happen."

**Author's Note:**

> Quite the wild ride, eh? I almost cried while writing this xD
> 
> While my beta and I did our best to pick it apart in our search, I would be eternally grateful if you catch an error, if you would let me know in the comments (or, ya know, put your opinion or what you thought in the comments too) All jokes aside, feedback is one of the best inspirations I have, so I'd love to hear what you think! (Love it? Hate it? Hate me?) 
> 
> Also Kudos warm my stone cold heart~


End file.
